Brothers

Saturday, February 14, 2009

There’s precious little I can write that matches the emotion and beauty of the image above, but I’ll try to provide a context to grasp what it shows.

After my parents split up, he moved to Mexico and met Adriana and her three sons.  Their biological father was not in the picture and from what I know he has had little to do with them since they were young kids.  My Dad became far more of a father to them than their “real” one and while they experienced the usual ups and down of the parent / adolescent dynamic there was always love.

The oldest boy, Mario, came from a similar mold as my Dad.  In his youth my Dad was (to put it kindly) a troublemaker and if not for some mentors and self-realization he would have never become the success he was.  Mario had made some decisions that could have led to some lousy consequences and that led to some heated words between them.

Then, one day, Mario came home with a United States Marine recruiter and told his parents that he had enlisted in the Marines.  My dad wept at the news, seeing that Mario was taking another path in his life – one that my father was profoundly proud of.

Mario was in San Diego training when my Dad’s prognosis was revealed.  Both he and the Marines felt it best to allow Mario to focus on his training, as leaving the program might mean him having to start over.  The hope was that Dad would make it to share in the celebration that was his graduation.

Unfortunately, that was yet another moment that Dad was unable to reach.

Mario was told of Dad’s passing just as he was to celebrate (and share) his accomplishment.  Instead of joyfully recognizing the results of his effort, he had to deal with losing the man he most wanted to see him as a Marine.

When we arrived to the cemetery we saw a man wearing the unmistakable uniform of a US Marine.  Mario displayed amazing dignity, but not a detached stoicism.  He wept standing firm holding Dad’s ashes in his hands.  The image was beautiful and heartbreaking.

At one point he walked a short distance away and we saw his shoulders shake as he knelt and wept.  His brothers went to his side to share in his grief.  I was both stunned by the emotion and inspired by the love and profound dignity of the moment.

It is a memory that speaks volumes about our Dad and the void he leaves in all our lives.