D’oh! A Deer…a Female Deer
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Please pardon the quote from the Simpsons (and yes, I know that is decidedly *not* a female deer in the header – sue me). There is a context, so quit distracting me and I’ll get to it.
So, as you guys know I’m a rider. No, not a ‘Cool Rider’ like Michelle Pfeiffer sang in Grease 2 (and if I was at all cool I would not have known that fact, let alone cited it) but a motorcycle rider. Being a rider brings many great things into your life. A sense of community with other riders, the ability to take a regular old road when traveled in a car and make it an event and about as close as I’ll ever get to say flying a jet, from a sensation perspective. That said, there are also, let’s face it, risks associated with riding. One can never forget that being on a 400-some odd pound bike is going to be less safe than beingin a 3000lb car with airbags and seatbelts. No, I don’t know how much cars weigh, by the way. Given that fact, I’ve taken pains (some literally) and expense to educate myself on riding techniques and to acquire proper gear. As I’ve said to others, the only thing within my control is to mitigate the risks – what others do is not up to me, I just have to be ready for them.
Thing is, after a few years of riding you expect the unexpected from drivers (or ‘cagers’ as riders call the latte-sipping, cellphone-chatting, hamburger-eating, lane-hogging maniacs that occupy cars). You know that they’ll turn left in front of you, cut you off, never ever signal and usually not even realize there is a motorcycle there. Just the simple reality. No biggie. But then there are the curve balls. The “oh sh*t” moments that, to put it poetically, result in what is termed ‘foam harvesting’ by the sudden and enthusiastic clenching of your gluteus maximus muscles.
I had one of those recently. I was riding along Pescadero Road in a residential / farming area. Not the hills and not quite yet the ocean. Nice day, smooth road – perfect. Then, suddenly I see a brown thing on the other side of the street. Before I really realize it, brown thing leaps onto the road and then bounds into MY lane. As my mind processes what it’s seeing and resolves brown thing as a female deer (a doe, I believe) it also helps me out with the nugget of knowledge that my closing speed to the deer formerly known as brown thing is rather quick. Not that I was flying, but when you’re faced with the prospect meeting a (guessing here) 300 lb furry thing of indeterminate inclination in a matter of moments I figure any speed would seem too high. Thankfully, my decision to decelerate and turn to my left coincided with the deer’s decision to move right our paths did not converge.
It’s not possible for me to say with any confidence which one of us was more freaked out by this little interaction. For my sake, I pulled over about a mile up the road to gather my wits and the deer, after stumbling for a moment on the shoulder in her own bit of panic also presumably continued about her deer business none the worse for wear.
Certainly made for an exiting few moments. That’s the thing people don’t necessarily understand. More than one colleague and at least a few loved ones have asked about my continuing to ride, now that I’m a parent. Of course I dread even the thought of Mabel ever answering the door or the phone to hear a police officer or hospital with bad news. I can’t fathom the thought of not seeing Nicky grow into a toddler, a little boy, a kid, a teen and then to be a grown man with his own family.
The truth is, just like that deer, I can’t control whether that happens or not. If my number comes up tomorrow as a passing bus or a sudden ache in my chest I’ll be just as gone as if it had come while I was on two wheels. Morbid, sure, but true. The difference being not how one leaves this planet, but what one does while on it. I want my son to live and love, and that means he’ll have scars and heartbreak. Will I want to protect him? Of course – but ultimately the most alive moments in life don’t come from the security of a warm bed, or from the glow of a screen, but from the unknowns that life puts in your path. Personally, I suggest turning left to avoid the dangerous ones.
/off soapbox – it’s Movie Time, now in vibrant DisclaimerVision™! (it’s been a while, so my comments with be brief)
• The Cooler:
William H Macy (always good) and Maria Bello (underrated) in a very darkly sweet movie about love, in all it’s messy, frustrating and yet still glorious truth. Added bonus – Alec Baldwin showing how he really can shine when playing a total jerk that you still want to like. I think didn’t do too well at the box office – it should have.
• Domino
The total hottie from the Pirates of the Caribbean series in a based-on-real-life role about a former fashion model turned bounty hunter. Put it this way, it was basically like the “Dog” series, just with worse acting and more annoying editing. We watched for about 15 minutes. Maybe.
• Lewis Black – Red, White and Screwed
C’mon – one of the funniest guys around doing his political schtick IN Washington DC. It’s great.
• Little Miss Sunshine
Sweet. Sad. A little insane. Steve Carrel is great as a failed Proust scholar, but he’s utterly upstaged by the young Abigail Breslin and Alan Ladd. You’ll never look at VW buses quite the same way. A must see.
• Dave Chapelle’s Block Party
So he was Rick James, bitch. His show was funny and fresh and edgy. This movie is none of those, just adding live music. A disappointment.
• Y Tu Mama Tambien
Spanish directors have gotten a lot of attention for their takes on sex, relationships and open-mindedness. Yes, we get it. Can we get on with our lives now? Oh yeah – two aimless friends explore sensuality with a married older woman and bla bla bla. Yawn.
• Art School Confidential
A dark comedy a la Donny Darko, set in an art school. John Malkovich kinda sorta sleepwalking though his role as a professor – but he still carries it off. Who else can do that intense, creepy, funny thing quite as effectively?
Coming Soon:
• Da Vinci Code – admit it, you liked the book too. Can Tom Hanks carry it off? We’ll see.
• MotoGP 2006 Review – the new season is coming soon, gotta get ready for it right?